So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
