I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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