I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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