I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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