dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
