How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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