he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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