I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
