I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
