Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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