Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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