what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
