We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
