Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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