Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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