so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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