Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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