they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
