doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
