dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
