It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
