I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
