I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
