The beer is more important than you right now.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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