i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
