that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I have fence marks all over my body
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
