I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
