What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
