when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize