dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
