Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
