hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
