dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I feel like abortions should bother me more
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
my poor anus
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
