When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
