its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
