Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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