Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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