dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
How does one acquire holy water?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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