And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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