the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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