Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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