Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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