grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
