I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
