She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize