He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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