sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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