And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize