Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
