We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
