Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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