i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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