He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
