Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
