In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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