Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
