on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
