i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
