I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i would one night stand the shit outta him
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
