I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
