Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I deserve to be covered in dicks
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
