Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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