So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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