Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
